You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is dick and wine.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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