The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
