watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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