I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Randomize
