Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
40s are totally the cure
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
