Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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