i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
