She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
it's like heaven, but drunker
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
