I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
It's Friday. Sex?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize