I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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