the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
