we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
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How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
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Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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