i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
