did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
