i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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