areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
