youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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