I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
