i permit you to call me
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone stole a lamp last night.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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