I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
