We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize
