Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
