'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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