i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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