Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
