I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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