Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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