Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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