I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
