about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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