No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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