Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize