Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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