You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
