those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
