WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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