Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
His hands were made for my vagina.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
