I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
He kissed a someone with a penis
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Randomize
