are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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