and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
