My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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