It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
