yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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