He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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