He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
