I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
