If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
