it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Randomize
