i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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