I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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