Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
