she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
