he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
