Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
