Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
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