So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
