the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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