i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
