I wish you could order shots online.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
