Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i think i have herpe
just one?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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