I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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