if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize