You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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