At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
