i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
